Adultery and Alcoholism go together like bread and butter.When an alcoholic drinks their mind becomes different in how it feels and thinks.In the disease approach, the family members are treated with therapy separate from the alcoholic.

alcoholics divorce dating aa-13

So then, how does a spouse who is divorcing an alcoholic plan and prepare? There are steps a spouse can take when divorcing an alcoholic that can make the divorce process smoother.

In our experience, much of what we write is common sense but common sense that has been validated through our significant experience as Orange County divorce attorneys.

What can a spouse expect when divorcing an alcoholic?

If you asked 10 different spouses who have gone through this experience, you may get 10 different answers.

I’ve had do this for a couple of really blunt times where families didn’t realize. Let’s deal with the relationship and we can get back and have all the things that we lost.” I’ve emphasized to family members, if they go to Al-Anon, they’ll understand this a lot easier but now that the person has stopped drinking they need to build a recovery that will withstand the test of time, and that always takes a year and a half or two years at a minimum.

During that time the family needs to be a low priority, those relationships are not a very high priority as far as what the wife or spouse is going to be seeking.

So the relationship becomes important later once that person knows they’re in good recovery and can expand outside of themselves to build help around them.

Mandy: So the person who’s not in recovery, is building a life for them like what makes them happy, what they enjoy, taking care of their needs, and making sure their needs are priority, so that when their spouse has got that solid foundation of recovery behind them, then they can to see whether they still have a relationship that’s aligned. Al: I tell people it’s like trains running on parallel tracks for the first couple of years if the relationship can work with each person building their own foundation of a new life in the recovery.

Abstinence may be as hard or even harder than drinking for the alcoholic because it reveals so many problems that were obscured by the family's focus on alcohol.