Fighting after 2 months of dating
There are MANY men who propose as soon as they can when they’re in love. In it, Professor Ted Huston studies 168 couples for ten years. “Researchers saw some typical changes that take place in all marriages during the first couple of years: fewer overt displays of affection; less sex; and fewer leisure activities together, as the relationship evolves from a romantic, recreational relationship to something like a working partnership.” This is all normal and predictable, says the married dating coach. Another reader – who was attempting to shoot down my assertion that you should ideally wait 2-3 years before getting engaged – sent me a link to a super-informative article.
How can I stop her from wanting to get into arguments with me?
” If you’re always arguing with your girlfriend, it means that you’re taking her too seriously.
Are these things just annoying, or signs of relationship trouble ahead?
“When you’re with that person at the beginning and something strikes you as odd or bizarre, and it sticks with you, it makes you uncomfortable but you can’t really wrap meaning around it,” that’s your red flag, says Bethany Marshall, Ph D, Psy D, author of Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away.
You both walk on eggshells around each other, feeling scared, misunderstood and not knowing what to do to change it.
After a while of this power struggle, even the smallest disagreements get blown out of proportion leaving you feeling from the one person you love most. If you can relate to any of what I’ve just described, you’re normal.
“Early in a relationship, it’s that one thing that’s right in front of you that may be a sign of something deeper.” Everyone can have a bad day, so don’t rush to judgment, Marshall says.
“But you have to trust yourself to ask questions about things that make you feel uncomfortable.” “In the first blush of romance, people overlook a lot of stuff because they’re so excited,” says clinical psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed D.
Somewhere between 2 months and 2 years into your relationship, the intoxicating feelings of relationships face, called the Power Struggle stage.
At this point, if you don’t run for the hills and try find a new relationship, you attempt to get your needs met by trying to change your partner to be more like you want them to be and more like when you first met.
Other useful takeaways: •Happily married couples shared many traits, including courtships that progressed smoothly toward marriage with little drama; their courtships had a quiet, romantic feeling, but as important, they sensed they were marrying someone who could be a good friend.