Screwed-up people are not more interesting than people with their heads together. For whatever reason, there are a surprising number of women who are attracted to guys who can’t commit, who can’t relate, who can’t get along with anyone, who can’t tell the truth… Books in tall stacks, Chinese food containers in the corners, DVDs in and out of boxes scattered around the TV… And while you wouldn’t really want to live there, there might be some part of you that would look around and grudgingly admit, “There’s a lot going on here.” Now, imagine the same apartment, once somebody has managed to get it cleaned up. You’re just in the presence of a person who knows how to clean up after himself.

Or it might be the uglier side of the therapy culture, which tempts you with the idea that these jerks might be amenable to solution, like crossword puzzles. I think it’s a matter of mistaking emotional clutter for emotional complexity. You walk in, you survey your surroundings, and there’s an incredible quantity of stuff lying around. And that’s in spite of the fact that the same books are being read, the same food is being eaten, and the same DVDs are being watched.

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how to stop dating jerks-50

Not only will you read as more desperate, but you’ll also start to accept more bad behaviour than you should just to avoid being single.

Realizing being alone is way better than being with someone unworthy will be a huge victory for you. If you’re constantly excusing crappy behavior from a man, you’ll never find one who doesn’t need excuses made for him.

The stereotype that men think with their reproductive parts may be a generalization, but it also hints at an answer. But while “jerks” might be good for a few dates or even the occasional tryst, research suggests they don’t typically make the cut as spouses.

As for guys who date selfish, unreliable, or emotionally immature women? So it’s possible that people are more likely to prefer a good-looking heartbreaker over a reliable mate because they’re just not that concerned about marriage and babies at this stage of life.

In other words, there’s some evidence that attractive people are more likely to be “jerks” (i.e.

Department of Psychology, Florida State University. Personality and Social Psychology 2011 Feb;100(2):295-308.. For one thing, science suggests Adonises tend to be assholes.Thanks to the New York Post, she’s now better known as the 31-year-old who supposedly frolicked topless in a Caribbean hot tub with Eliot Spitzer, the former governor of New York and failed comptroller candidate who famously humiliated his wife and his supporters by frequenting prostitutes.(The Post’s hot tub reporting has just been called suspect by rival tabloid, the Daily News, but the couple’s relationship promises to be endless gossip fodder.)The choice to date Spitzer has cost Smith—at least in the short term.There’s no avoiding the odd jerk every now and then, but if your dating record is mostly devoid of good guys, you might want to evaluate why it’s going so terribly wrong.You’re a great catch — that’s certainly not the problem — but the reason you keep ending up with so many losers is still down to you. If you end up dating a series of crappy men, you really need to evaluate your standards.Sixty-two percent of women picked out the guys who’d told researchers separately about their less-than-faithful romantic history.